March 31st 2015 from 9pm-10:30pm was the true beginning of a new journey for me.
I want my future self to look back and be able to remember that date :)
About a year and a half ago I became interested in my faith and my relationship with God. I didn't have any religious role models in my life or religion in my family life. But I noticed that I was slowly starting to open up my mind and my heart to having God in my life, or at least in my thoughts. I started believing that things were happening because they were supposed to happen that way and that there is an ultimate higher power reasoning to why it happened.
I was nervous and scared. I didn't truly seek God or open up my life to have Him in it. I thought this whole 'journey' thing would be overwhelming and I didn't want to take it on alone.
It wasn't until March of 2014 when I got a knee injury from cheerleading that I made the choice of thinking, "since this has happened to me, I guess it's Gods way of saying I shouldn't be cheering right now." I didn't feel like I should recover my injury and get back to it, as much as cheerleading was my whole life. I truly felt that maybe this is my time to end this part of my life and go find something else.
& then not too long after that is when my grandmother got sick. On August 14th of 2014, my grandmother passed away. When I woke up that morning, something told me to wear my beautiful ring that I had inherited from my grandmother. Little did I know, that was God's way of signing to me 'today is the day.' I had just moved into my apartment back at college but I rushed home immediately.
After that, it seems as though everything went down hill. I was distraught about my grandmothers passing. I had to go back to school because classes were starting soon. My heart was hurting so bad and her getting sick then passing seemed like it happened all too fast.
About a month later, we lost my family home. My father couldn't keep up with all the bills on his own since my grandmothers passing and the eviction happened even quicker. Next thing I know, my father had nowhere to live and had no money to find a place. He moved into my 1 bedroom apartment with me. I was happy to have him because as much as I was hurting, he was hurting even worse. I knew I had to take care of him no matter what.
My sophomore year of college, my father lived with me and paid my bills. I didn't have a job. Financial problems were through the roof from past bills and it seemed as though every little thing was popping up for us to pay for - my car getting towed, a speeding ticket, unknown toll violations, my dads car breaking down. There was so much happening with no money to spare or save.
So on March 31st of 2015, I attended an Athletes In Action meeting at my college. It was a group for athletes to come and support each others faith in God. I was no longer an athlete but I had wanted to go a few times my freshman year and just never did. But on this day I had just decided with my friend to go with her. When I got there, I immediately felt a feeling of overwhelmed emotion. I was excited, nervous, heart thumping, emotional. But it soon smoothed out and I felt calm and just excited to be there. When the pastor started talking and sharing a story from the bible, I started crying because it hit home. & I realized, thats how it works. It is CRAZY how things work that way. I was supposed to come to the AIA meeting that night and I was supposed to meet those people. It was Gods guidance for me to finally start truly accepting my faith and opening my heart, soul, mind to Him.
A year and a half ago, I slowly started my journey. As afraid and nervous I am, I am ready. I am ready for grace and forgiveness and repentance. I am ready to accept God into my home and for Him to work His beautiful magic in my life and I am ready to serve Him as best as I can and however I can.
This is my testimony and all the Glory goes to God.
